Malified
by LadyGadfly
Summary: Firefly one-shot. Inara and Mal run into a spot of bother on a job. Slight Inara/Mal pairing. Some violence. Constructive criticism welcome.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Firefly, Serenity or any of Inara's beautiful wardrobe. I wish I did. I do however, have a pattern for Jayne's cunning hat that I intend to knit some day . . . _

* * *

Mal grabbed a hold of Inara's hand as they tore around a corner of the corridor, preventing the Companion from tumbling over. He gave her impractical shoes a disparaging glance before picking up the pace, not entirely sure where they were going but fairly sure it should be in the general direction of _away_ from where the sounds of angry voices and distinctive clicks of preparing handguns were coming from.

Inara had insisted she take part in their latest job. Mal wasn't sure if it was because they had been keeping mostly out of Alliance space even more than usual lately, so depriving Inara of any business, or if he was just a bad influence on her.

It had been going so well at first. Inara had been, it turned out, the perfect woman for the job. Their target was a local bandit that had accumulated no small amount of personal wealth and had his own little castle built right over the only natural well that anyone knew of on that side of the planet. He had, of course, refused to share. The local law enforcement insisted they could do nothing until they had some kind of concrete proof that he was the bandit they all knew him to be.

The man in question – Mal furrowed his brow in concentration, tugging a protesting Inara down the opposite corridor to the one she had been heading towards – what was his name again? Jozsef? Jozsua? It didn't matter. He had delusions of grandeur. Presenting him with a Companion had been a stroke of genius. Inara was as radiantly beautiful as ever, dressed in flowing crimson silk with gold accents and golden hair sticks with red gems set into them. The choli top she wore left her back open and her midriff bare, revealing an expanse of flawless skin. The man would have to be blind or dead to not want her.

The sallow little man had immediately taken her arm – a little too closely, Mal had thought – and had lead her out to the lush garden just outside his personal living area. Mal had just had time to see an ornate water feature across the garden before he had been ushered away by the bandit's lackeys. All that water going to waste and there were kids dying of dehydration out in the town not five miles west of there. Getting rid of the lackey's hadn't been too hard. A quick crack on the back of the head with the butt of his gun on one, punch the other in the chin and they were out cold and in a convenient store cupboard before you could say "well, that was suspiciously easy."

Mal had been poking around in what he assumed was the bandit's office and had found just what he needed when he heard voices.

"I have the very finest sword collection in the sector. All antique, I have a Japanese sword from earth. Absolutely exquisite, it is." Mal breathed a curse and stuffed the wad of incriminating papers into his jacket.

"Really? That sounds . . . fascinating." Inara may have been a wonderful actress when the time called for it but even Mal could tell she was straining to stay sounding interested.

"Now if you will just step into my office." The door handle turned and Mal looked around frantically for a window to jump out of. Even if there was one, he couldn't leave, he reminded himself, Inara was still out there.

"Oh! Wait!" The door stopped opening. "The collection is in your office?"

"That's right little lady."

"Well, really, if I'm honest, I'm not all that interested in swords. I've never even held one." Mal snorted. "Why don't we go back to that lovely garden of yours and talk about you for a bit."

"Well, you know, my dear." The bandit's voice turned suggestive and Mal tensed. "I have many collections. Maybe you would like to see my gun collection?"

"Where do you keep that?" Inara's voice was growing increasingly tense. Mal edged towards the door, one hand on the handle of his pistol.

"The bedroom."

"Oh, really?" Mal could practically hear Inara shrinking from the criminal and tightened his grip. "You keep any other weapons in there?"

"Why don't we find out."

"No I really don't think - "

"No problem, I settle it with your pimp afterwards."

"Mister Orbán I am _not_ a - " Inara's indignant outburst was cut short by Mal wrenching the door open.

"What is the meaning of this?!" The bandit reached for his gun.

"This means we are leaving. And _this_," Mal held his gun to the bandit's nose. "Means you are going to do precisely nothing to stop us. Understand?"

"Y-yes." Grabbing Inara's hand, Mal started to run.

Not long later they heard raised voices and hurried footsteps. Darting down another corridor Mal cursed the labyrinthine construction of the huge house. Every corridor looked the same; same wood panelling, same lacquered red floor, same lattice windows.

"Mal, stop! Where are you going? The exit is that way, I'm sure of it!"

"That's exactly why we are not going that way."

"Why not?" Inara cried, exasperated.

"Because as soon as we leave this place by the front door your lovely Mister Orbán's employees will open fire and we'll - "

"Go out in a blaze of glory?" Inara quipped sarcastically.

"If by blaze of glory you mean spray of arterial blood then yeah." Mal gripped her hand tighter and pulled her along. "A whole load of bloody glory."

"Sorry." Inara looked bashful for a second. "Mal? Why did you have to do that? I was dealing with him fine. You didn't have to come to my rescue. I've dealt with difficult clients before."

"Were they armed?"

"Some of them, yes." Mal shrugged, trying to not let her see how surprised he was.

"Just thought you would get annoyed having to sleep with a guy without getting' paid is all."

Inara wrenched her hand from his and marched past him.

"Inara, I . . ."

"Where are we going?" Inara kept her back to Mal but he could hear the telltale quaver to her voice.

"Out." He took a radio off his belt. "Zoe?"

"Yes captain?" Zoe's voice crackled.

"We good to get back up in the black?"

"The good Doctor is still over in town with his sister and Kaylee trying to treat people. Jayne and Shepherd Book are here with me. You want me to call them over?"

"Surely do, and whilst you're at it tell that husband of yours to get Serenity's engines running, we're getting up in the sky as soon as possible."

"Something not go according to plan?"

"Hey, we are getting' paid, ain't we?" Jayne's angry drawl cut over the radio. "Mal, I swear if we ain't gettin' paid this time - "

"Enough Jayne. We _will_ get paid. We just ran into a little problem."

"What kind of problem, sir?"

"The kind with guns. I want all of you on Serenity and out into the black. Leave one of the shuttles at the rendezvous point. As soon as I have the coin I'll meet you back on the ship."

"That sounds awful risky sir, maybe I should come with you to town."

"No, Zoe. If for nothing else I need you on Serenity to make sure Jayne behaves himself." There was a long pause and Mal could hear footsteps coming closer. It looked like the confusing construction of the place was working to his advantage; they still hadn't found him or Inara. Glancing up, he could see the Companion leaning against a wall wincing slightly as she shifted in her beautiful but horribly impractical high-heeled shoes. Mal tried and failed not to notice that her lips were painted the same deep red as her silk sari.

"All right Captain." Zoe's replied, waking Mal from his reverie.

"All right. Out." Mal put the radio back and held a hand out to Inara. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Inara crossed her arms.

"We are going." Mal glanced around, trying to get a bearing of his surroundings, then froze and looked back down one corridor. "There."

Ignoring his hand, Inara marched past Mal and stood in the corridor.

"This is a dead end."

"No, it's the exit." Mal pointed to a small hatch set into the wall at about waist height with a lever next to it. Sliding the door back revealed a compartment just big enough for two people to squeeze into. It looked for all the world like a mini elevator.

"Excuse me? I am not crawling into that thing. Especially not with you."

"Look, you really don't – " Mal cursed violently in Cantonese as he heard the footsteps getting way too close for comfort. "You really don't have much choice here. Inara please I don't want you to get – you've caused me enough trouble as it is already." Mal checked himself before he said something stupid. "If we don't get out of here soon are lives will be coming to a rather abrupt and messy end."

"Well I ain't about to make my life any shorter by climbing into that thing. There is no way it can support two people's weight!"

"So go alone."

"No!" Mal turned, surprised by her outburst. "Serenity needs a Captain." Inara looked away.

Just then one of the lackeys from earlier came tearing around the corner. Before he could raise his gun Mal had shot him in the chest. As he crumpled to the ground Inara made a small sound of fear.

"You know, it really looks pretty sturdy. " She gathered her skirt up and clambered in.

Another lackey came running at them and fired a shot into the wall by Mal's head before going the same way as his colleague. Inara tugged at his sleeve. Gathering his brown jacket, Mal climbed into the now very cramped compartment.

"Right, now we - " Mal paused.

"What? What's wrong? You do know how to work this thing, right?"

"Inara," Mal turned to the Companion who was looking at him with a mixture of frustration and anticipation. "You said ain't."

"What?"

"Just then, you said _ain't_." Mal repeated gleefully, clearly very amused by the whole thing.

"I . . . oh my god, I've been away from civilisation for too long." Inara covered her eyes with her hand. "I've become _Mal-ified_."

Mal laughed and pulled his coat and Inara's sari into the compartment and half slid the door shut.

"It's not funny Mal."

"_Ain't_ funny." He corrected her, drawing his pistol and twisting round to blow the lever on the wall to smithereens just as three more armed men rounded the corner.

They dropped.

* * *

_Well, that wasn't too bad was it? Not exactly thrilling stuff I know but I'm still testing the waters of FanFiction here. This started off as a drabble and kind of mutated. Writing someone else's characters is surprisingly difficult. Constructive criticism is always welcome. _

_And yes, I am a hopeless fangirl for Serenity and think the Inara/Mal pairing has so many wonderful possibilities. Not to mention oodles of simmering sexual tension. I loves me some sexual tension. ;)_


End file.
